Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
