do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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