Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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