It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
