I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
