Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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