So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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