Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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