He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
