is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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