You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
