If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
