Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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