I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
