This is not my ceiling
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
