Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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