Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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