Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
