My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Bring me that man meat
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
