Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
