I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
