I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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