**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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