the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
