I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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