in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
