mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
