Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
