Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
