I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
