I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
