i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
