I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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