THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
