dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
whose parrot is this?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize