singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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