Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just found puke in my bra..
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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