You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
