this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dicks are not precious.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
