the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
