I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
