I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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