id be glad to
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
