I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
