I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
