So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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