i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
