Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
