Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
