i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
