Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She even gives head with a lisp.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
